Addictions

In the past week or so I've noticed a bit of a theme recurring in my life: addiction. Not necessarily to drugs or alcohol or even my own addiction. I'm talking about vices in general.
For some its weed or cigarettes, shopping, gambling, sex, food, excersize, etc.

In my own life I definitely could own up to having a mild food addiction, although I'm getting a lot better at controlling how I view food and what and how much of it I eat. For a long time in my life, food was something that never made fun of me, never talked back to me, never yelled at me. However, there was a tipping point. Food and drugs are very similar. At the height of this food "addiction" I was acting very much like a drug addict. No longer was it necessary that I eat socially, now I was doing it alone. I would eat my regular meals and then hide food in my room or buy it when no one else knew what I was doing. I would lie about it. I would tell people I wasn't hungry or didn't need food and would proceed to hoarding it in private.

Disgusting? Absolutely. Part of me is conflicted about even posting this blog entry, but I feel like its worth exploring. Food is troublesome because it was literally something I was addicted to, but unlike drugs or alcohol I actually need food to survive.

For example, if we do well at work, management often goes around and offers ice cream to employees. No one walks around offering lines of coke to their employees after a job well done (depending on your profession of course, but that's an entirely different topic...). Yet sometimes, that is how I feel. Full fat and sugar ice cream is my cocaine. A little extreme, sure, but its the closest I've come to a full-fledged addiction.

How about addictions to destructive people? I don't personally have this problem, but as a big girl, it could have easily become one. We often loose confidence in ourselves and assume that any and all attention is good attention. WRONG! Guys who are abusive, or won't commit are not healthy! I have very many friends- of all shapes and sizes with this addiction. It often happens because we're depressed, have low self-esteem and are desperate or lonely.

What kind of addictions have you witnessed or are brave enough to discuss? Any hateful or offensive responses will be removed so feel free to be open or anonymous if you wish.

I'm Preachin the Same Gospel- Love Thyself!!

So I must begin by apologizing for my hiatus, but I have had several computer issues lately.

However we have loads of things to discuss! Like current trends, events, and weight loss!

Lets start with trends shall we? I have noticed that the whole nomad, tribal, safari look is creeping back just in time for summer. And frankly, I love it. Khaki is a perfect summer neutral, and the tribal prints are so fun and colorful! Today I bought a beautiful Elephant necklace to echo that trend from Forever 21 ($5.80)


Plus, accessories are an easy way to test a trend by dipping your toes in the pool instead of diving in headfirst.
Although I did jump in headfirst and I bought a beautiful dress for around 20 bucks, its a 3-quarter length sleeve A-line dress with a black bodice and african-inspired pattern skirt and a belted waist :) It makes this curvy girl look a bit thinner and enjoy the season's hottest trend!

But enough about trends. Has anyone seen the trailers for Kirstie Alley's new show "Kirstie Alley's Big Life"?? I mean give me a break. She is ill representation for fat girls everywhere. "Boo hoo I was skinny in my 20's and I've had two kids and now I'm old and fat!" Congrats BEEOTCH! I'm in my 20's and I've never had any kids and guess what?? I'm about as big as you are!! Sorry I had to let my fat rant out!
Besides, you cant just diet for a little while and expect to keep the weight off. You literally have to change the whole way you think about life! I have, and you know what? I'm doing pretty damn good so far.

Not only is her whiney attitude annoying, but in the previews to her show she states, "I hate being fat, I've never been 'large and in charge' or proud of my curves" (I paraphrased a little, but thats pretty much what she said). No one likes being fat, trust me, its not enjoyable watching size two's eat their weight in french fries and cheeseburgers while I eat a salad with olive oil and still weigh around 200 pounds. However, if you are a curvy girl, BE A CURVY GIRL! It's ok, the world will still embrace you.

Which leads me to my next revelation. I was at a wedding in Santa Cruz two weeks ago and I learned a thing or two about myself. First off, it was a gay wedding and I went with friends from my old schools Gay-straight alliance. Right off the bat it was a crazy cast of characters.

I realized among this particular group of people that it doesn't matter how you dress, or how thin you are, or how you do your hair or makeup, or if you are pierced or tattooed, gay or straight, black, white, polka dotted, whatever! Just find the people in the world who love you exactly the way you are and stick with them! I realized my friends love me- my curvy, blue-eyed, bottle-blonde, vegan, tattooed, spiritual, poetry-writing self. And I love them just the same :)

So if I end up loosing all the weight, I'll be really proud of myself, but if I don't who cares, everyone will still love me.

Veganism?

So almost a week ago I was shopping around at Borders with my little sister, and decided to hit up the health/medicine section for some help with a diet plan. I immediately fell in love with "Skinny Bitch" and picked myself up a copy along with the cookbook ("Skinny Bitch in the Kitch") and an accompanying journal.

Now this may frighten some of you, its an all vegan diet. Along with meat, cheese, dairy, and eggs I've also cut refined sugar and flour out of my diet. I have been hitting the gym at least 3 times a week and cut out all drive-thrus and takeout meals.

Not only do I feel more energized and able to get up and do more, I lost a pound within the first THREE DAYS! Not even a week had passed and my weight had changed! That's serious improvement. I have yet to weigh myself again, but I am very excited with the potential for more weight loss.

My short-term goal is to drop a pant size and loose 20 pounds. I'm going to stick to keeping my goals short and sweet, so I achieve them and dont feel super overwhelmed with a goal like, "loose 50 pounds".

So I'll keep you posted on how this goes and hopefully ill reach my new-years resolution :)

A New Years Resolution We Should ALL Make

So yesterday was a huge wake-up call.

I was at work cashier-ing, when a woman came through my line and asked, "how far along are you?" I said "what?" She then dug herself a deeper hole and asked, "well, are you pregnant?"
My reply, "No, not pregnant, just fat." and I smiled at her. I proceeded to laugh about it with the coworker who had heard the mess and never let it get to me while I was at work.

It wasn't until I got home and was talking to my boyfriend when I had a full-on breakdown. I told him what had happened and could not stop crying. Clearly, I needed to loose more weight than I thought. I love myself, and I'm happy not being a size 2, however, I know I could use some work, and yesterday was a huge wake-up call.

I have vowed to beginning my new year's resolution early and hitting the gym first thing tomorrow morning. I also need to do some grocery shopping and throw out all the chocolate in my cupboard. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I have had my meltdown, and now its time to build myself back up. I will not let this keep me down!

After work yesterday I felt really down and decided to stop at 7/11 to pick up some magazines as a pick-me-up. I placed a copy of Nylon with Hilary Duff on the cover on the counter. The cashier looked at me and pointed at the magazine, "is that a picture of you?" he asked.

I know it was all in jest, and I just laughed and said I wish, but that one little compliment turned my whole evening around. You'd be surprised, that girl you told had cute shoes on the subway this morning may have been feeling down, and you picked her up. I think the perfect new year's resolution would be to pay at least 2 people a day a genuine compliment. I promise it won't just pick up their day, it will make yours also.

Tis The Season!

Ah! Tis the season for cashmere sweaters, peppermint bark, hot cocoa, Christmas lights and overcrowded shopping malls!
With that said there are 2 things on my agenda this evening. The first would be what to wear to all your social events this season, and the next is what to buy for everyone on your list! I know there's only a week left to shop, but don't lie- I know you're not finished yet!

First things 1st, what to wear? Here are my favorite picks for various functions:


^a fun flirty number covered enough for that office Christmas party $69.50 at lanebryant.com


^This is the perfect dress to wear on a date to see The Nutcracker or an opera. The sleeves are sexy, but will also keep you warm! $168 at igigi.com



^This one would be great if you're hosting a house party or are attending one. Wanna warm it up? Add tights and a cute sweater. $39 at AshleyStewart.com

So we've solved dilemna number 1, what to wear to the event. Now you've gotta bring along the perfect gift. Fear not! I have some brilliant ideas for all the people in your life :)


^I love this one for my Mom, its the perfect way to combine her love of a good cocktail with her love of a long bubble bath. Either way, she'll be nice and relaxed :)$30 at Sephora


^for Dad a gift that will be sure to keep him cooking throughout the season. However, Mom may think its just an eyesore in the backyard... Dad will still wanna give you a good fist pound though! $59.99 at the NFL shop


^This one's perfect for my brainy younger sister, she's a girl's girl through and through, but loves reading and these classic books from Penguin will look great in her room and she'll read them cover to cover! $13.60 a piece at Amazon.com


^This one's perfect for my older sister who just became a mother. It's affordable, and beautiful, and I'm sure it will mean a lot to her. $49.95 at RedEnvelope


^This craft bin would be perfect for my artsy fashion school friends at 28 bucks from Amazon


^They say the way into a man's heart is through his stomach, and my boyfriend is a pizza fanatic! He would love this- membership to a pizza of the month club where 3 delicious deep-dish Chicago style pizzas are delivered to his house each month for a year. $176.85 at Amazing Clubs

I know there's still a lot of people on your list, but hopefully this gives you some great ideas and you'll be invited back to every party this year!

But remember, don't get lost in the haze of shop shop shop! gifts gifts gifts! take a second to take a deep breath and remember that this is the only Christmas you will have this year, so make it a good one. Remember that the spirit of Christmas is not about one day sales, getting the perfect parking spot at the mall or squeezing into that too-tight party dress after eating too much turkey stuffing. No matter what holiday you celebrate, remember to give thanks and give back to the people in your life. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Blogland! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! First I must apologize for my hiatus from blogspot, it has been a long week of graveyard shifts at work for me. And now I know why they call them graveyard shifts- once you're done, you feel like you belong in one.

So today is basically a big massive eating holiday, a plus sized girls worst nightmare (kind of) and I'm here to tell you, just relax and bust out the sweat pants. If eating with a large group of family or friends, especially those relatives you only see once or twice a year, it can be a little daunting to feel overweight, and then go stuff your gut. However, this is a day to give thanks, and don't feel so guilty for going overboard.

Make sure to try a little of everything on the table, and wear some comfy and cute sweats (especially if the party is at your place!).

Here are some cute options:



^this set is so adorable and runs for about $35 total. Also, if pink really isn't your color blue and black is also available, and don't be afraid to mix and match!

Indulge today and eat healthy tomorrow, one of my favorite dinner-table toasts is "eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet!"
And remember to love yourself no matter what- be thankful for your friends, family and the skin you're in, because you are fabulous!

A Brief Lesson in Customer Service

Well pay day was Friday, so naturally, what's a girl to do when the money comes rolling in? Shop!
I tried to keep my purchases to a minimum, but I snagged a cream cardigan and tapestry-esque scarf from Forever 21. I also grabbed a reversible blue scarf with paisely print and these jeans from old navy >>


^normally, I would steer clear from a light wash denim, because they tend to make curvy girls look bigger, however, they fit much better than the darker washes I tried on, and they actually made my butt look bigger (and I have a flat ass, so that was a plus for me!)

One thing that should be noted in today's post- customer service. Two similar stores with competing markets, yet the customer service was VASTLY different in each store.

In forever 21 I was greeted by no one, my friend was forced to leave to use the elevator outside because she brought her son in a stroller (what about someone in a wheelchair??), and when we arrived upstairs, no one was available and both the dressing rooms and registers were closed! There was no way we were going back downstairs, so we found a salesgirl to ring us up.

We asked to see her manager, and we brought attention to the fact that the place is highly inaccessable to anyone with special needs and that it should be looked into, or at least keep both floors open for purchases. The manager actually gave me an attitude and got defensive!

Now I understand that there's only so much you can do, but the least you can do is apologize and take our thoughts into consideration. I asked for the managers name and the number to corporate.

I love Forever 21, but lets face it, I'd rather spend loads of cash at Old Navy where I was greeted by 3 different sales girls, and helped immediately and quickly.

I read in a magazine that if a customer has a wonderful shopping experience, she tells an average of 3 friends. If she has a terrible one- she tells an average of 11. I've had numerous readers visit this blog, so consider this above average. If you visit Forever 21 at the Del Amo Fashion center, don't expect manager Maribel to help you. Unless its to see you to the door.

What kind of nightmarish shopping experiences have you had?? This is your chance to dish and let the world know who to avoid!