Addictions

In the past week or so I've noticed a bit of a theme recurring in my life: addiction. Not necessarily to drugs or alcohol or even my own addiction. I'm talking about vices in general.
For some its weed or cigarettes, shopping, gambling, sex, food, excersize, etc.

In my own life I definitely could own up to having a mild food addiction, although I'm getting a lot better at controlling how I view food and what and how much of it I eat. For a long time in my life, food was something that never made fun of me, never talked back to me, never yelled at me. However, there was a tipping point. Food and drugs are very similar. At the height of this food "addiction" I was acting very much like a drug addict. No longer was it necessary that I eat socially, now I was doing it alone. I would eat my regular meals and then hide food in my room or buy it when no one else knew what I was doing. I would lie about it. I would tell people I wasn't hungry or didn't need food and would proceed to hoarding it in private.

Disgusting? Absolutely. Part of me is conflicted about even posting this blog entry, but I feel like its worth exploring. Food is troublesome because it was literally something I was addicted to, but unlike drugs or alcohol I actually need food to survive.

For example, if we do well at work, management often goes around and offers ice cream to employees. No one walks around offering lines of coke to their employees after a job well done (depending on your profession of course, but that's an entirely different topic...). Yet sometimes, that is how I feel. Full fat and sugar ice cream is my cocaine. A little extreme, sure, but its the closest I've come to a full-fledged addiction.

How about addictions to destructive people? I don't personally have this problem, but as a big girl, it could have easily become one. We often loose confidence in ourselves and assume that any and all attention is good attention. WRONG! Guys who are abusive, or won't commit are not healthy! I have very many friends- of all shapes and sizes with this addiction. It often happens because we're depressed, have low self-esteem and are desperate or lonely.

What kind of addictions have you witnessed or are brave enough to discuss? Any hateful or offensive responses will be removed so feel free to be open or anonymous if you wish.

I'm Preachin the Same Gospel- Love Thyself!!

So I must begin by apologizing for my hiatus, but I have had several computer issues lately.

However we have loads of things to discuss! Like current trends, events, and weight loss!

Lets start with trends shall we? I have noticed that the whole nomad, tribal, safari look is creeping back just in time for summer. And frankly, I love it. Khaki is a perfect summer neutral, and the tribal prints are so fun and colorful! Today I bought a beautiful Elephant necklace to echo that trend from Forever 21 ($5.80)


Plus, accessories are an easy way to test a trend by dipping your toes in the pool instead of diving in headfirst.
Although I did jump in headfirst and I bought a beautiful dress for around 20 bucks, its a 3-quarter length sleeve A-line dress with a black bodice and african-inspired pattern skirt and a belted waist :) It makes this curvy girl look a bit thinner and enjoy the season's hottest trend!

But enough about trends. Has anyone seen the trailers for Kirstie Alley's new show "Kirstie Alley's Big Life"?? I mean give me a break. She is ill representation for fat girls everywhere. "Boo hoo I was skinny in my 20's and I've had two kids and now I'm old and fat!" Congrats BEEOTCH! I'm in my 20's and I've never had any kids and guess what?? I'm about as big as you are!! Sorry I had to let my fat rant out!
Besides, you cant just diet for a little while and expect to keep the weight off. You literally have to change the whole way you think about life! I have, and you know what? I'm doing pretty damn good so far.

Not only is her whiney attitude annoying, but in the previews to her show she states, "I hate being fat, I've never been 'large and in charge' or proud of my curves" (I paraphrased a little, but thats pretty much what she said). No one likes being fat, trust me, its not enjoyable watching size two's eat their weight in french fries and cheeseburgers while I eat a salad with olive oil and still weigh around 200 pounds. However, if you are a curvy girl, BE A CURVY GIRL! It's ok, the world will still embrace you.

Which leads me to my next revelation. I was at a wedding in Santa Cruz two weeks ago and I learned a thing or two about myself. First off, it was a gay wedding and I went with friends from my old schools Gay-straight alliance. Right off the bat it was a crazy cast of characters.

I realized among this particular group of people that it doesn't matter how you dress, or how thin you are, or how you do your hair or makeup, or if you are pierced or tattooed, gay or straight, black, white, polka dotted, whatever! Just find the people in the world who love you exactly the way you are and stick with them! I realized my friends love me- my curvy, blue-eyed, bottle-blonde, vegan, tattooed, spiritual, poetry-writing self. And I love them just the same :)

So if I end up loosing all the weight, I'll be really proud of myself, but if I don't who cares, everyone will still love me.

Veganism?

So almost a week ago I was shopping around at Borders with my little sister, and decided to hit up the health/medicine section for some help with a diet plan. I immediately fell in love with "Skinny Bitch" and picked myself up a copy along with the cookbook ("Skinny Bitch in the Kitch") and an accompanying journal.

Now this may frighten some of you, its an all vegan diet. Along with meat, cheese, dairy, and eggs I've also cut refined sugar and flour out of my diet. I have been hitting the gym at least 3 times a week and cut out all drive-thrus and takeout meals.

Not only do I feel more energized and able to get up and do more, I lost a pound within the first THREE DAYS! Not even a week had passed and my weight had changed! That's serious improvement. I have yet to weigh myself again, but I am very excited with the potential for more weight loss.

My short-term goal is to drop a pant size and loose 20 pounds. I'm going to stick to keeping my goals short and sweet, so I achieve them and dont feel super overwhelmed with a goal like, "loose 50 pounds".

So I'll keep you posted on how this goes and hopefully ill reach my new-years resolution :)